What civilised behaviour?

We are in Chinatown, having just done some Asian grocery shopping. We stop for a drink and a rest, Daddy goes to the toilet and leaves me to order the food and drinks. Liem wants a blueberry muffin. Blueberry muffins are sold out. I ask Liem, "Apple or banana?" No answer, so I decide for him. "Apple". Liem tells me he doesn't like apple muffins and he doesn't want to eat an apple muffin, I tell him he doesn't have to eat it. He tells me he wants strawberries, I tell him there are no strawberries in that shop, only strawberry milkshakes. My tea arrives, Liem wants my milk, I give it to him, he sips it out of the jug (I needed my cup for my tea after all). The apple muffin arrives, I ask Liem if he wants to try some, he has a small piece. "I LIKE apple muffin. Yum yum!" He then proceeds to break small bits of muffin and eats them. Daddy comes back and has his coffee. We both watch in disbelief as Liem spears the remainder of the muffin with his fork and eats it like he's eating a toffee apple. I am hoping no one is watching us. When he's finished, Liem tells Daddy he is drinking Mummy's milk and proceeds to drink from the jug. Daddy is horrified, "You can't drink from the jug!" I say, "He already did". "I go away for 5 minutes and all civilised behaviour goes out the window." We slink away, leaving a pile of muffin crumbs on the table, chair and floor. Daddy tells me, "It was $6.70 for the food and $3 to forget about the incident."

Liem commenting on Mummy's driving

"Do you drive with a screech, Mum? Daddy NEVER drives with a screech."

Liem has it all figured out

"My other name is Liem Tuan Tran and Daddy's name is Daddy Tuan Tran!"

You give a boy a perfectly good bed...

...and he prefers to sleep on the floor.

Although sometimes backwards

Liem can write his name!

Cake

Sometimes I get concerned by how much Liem loves to eat cake...

Visit from Ah Por and Ah Kong

Ah Kong and Ah Por came to visit us a while back ago but I've only just put the pictures up today because we've had a series of illnesses one after the other - the usual winter bouts of colds, flus and Khiem even had pneumonia! Thank goodness he's getting better and we are all more or less in good health for now.

Liem enjoyed having his grandparents visit and looks like Ah Kong enjoyed playing with Liem's train set! HAHAHA!

Getting better if a bit overzealous

Liem is getting better at helping Mummy peg the clothes, although a bit overzealous with the use of the pegs.

How to be the boss

Liem has been a really good boy lately. He has been happy, sleeping well, learning well and even starting to read a little. He has impressed the grandparents and astounded a few visitors by taking his bowl and putting it in the dishwasher after dinner (of course this means that he thinks doing the dishes means putting them in the dishwasher...he's going to get a shock when he offers to do the dishes in Malaysia). I have really been enjoying this - this is what having a child is all about. And I believe this has come about because I have changed the way I handled Liem. In short, I have learnt How To Be The Boss. This didn't come naturally to me, I had to learn it. And it all comes down to learning How To Be A Petty Tyrant.

Before: Liem wants an apple, Mummy peels the skin off because Liem doesn't like the skin. Mummy slices the apple into small pieces because that's the way Liem likes it. Until the day comes when Liem throws the BIGGEST tantrum because he wanted apple in BIG pieces.
Now: Mummy cuts the apple any way she likes, with skin on, Liem has to eat it AND the skin AND like it or not eat it and have nothing else either.

Before: Mummy chases Liem around the room trying to put his nappy on. Liem has lots of tricks. Lying on the mat face down, lying on the mat with head towards Mummy, lying on the mat sideways, lying on mat with bum off the mat, lying on the mat but too far away from Mummy and constantly scooting further and further away.
Now: Liem has to lie on the mat properly, right distance away, no waving legs in the air. If head towards Mummy, Mummy puts nappy on Liem's head!

Before: Mummy wants a cuddle. "Cuddle for Mummy?", begs Mummy. Liem says, "No" and walks away. Mummy says, "Aiyah, he's just like that, small matter."
Now: Mummy wants a cuddle, Mummy gets a cuddle. Liem has to give Mummy a cuddle or risk being sent to his room for time out.

On Christmas Day, we asked Liem to say "Merry Christmas Grandpa". He insisted on saying "Good morning Grandpa". Liem was sent to his room until he said "Merry Christmas Grandpa". The next day, he said, "Merry Christmas Grandpa". We said, Christmas is over, Liem, now you say, Good morning Grandpa. Liem insisted on saying "Merry Christmas Grandpa" and it was back to his room until he said "Good morning, Grandpa". Grandpa was shocked that we would send Liem to his room for such a small matter, but we have learnt that it is the trivial things (and usually first thing in the morning) that set the tone for the day. After that Liem was a perfect angel.

For this I have to thank the book Terrific Toddlers written by Mel Hayde (and Simone Boswell for recommending it). The bit that really SHOWED me how it all worked was this section that I will reproduce here:
Remember your kitchen is not a restaurant - do not take orders.
You choose the cereal.
The topping for the cereal.
The small spoon or the big spoon.
The spread for the toast.
The way the toast is cut.
The type of drink.
Whether the drink is cold or warm.
The order in which the meal will be eaten.
The type of cup.
The type of plate...

So trivial, I thought. But letting Liem make all these decisions makes him think that HE is the boss....and I often end the day having a complete fit and frustrated at having a child that had a tantrum every time I chose or did something not to his liking. And it wasn't even that he liked or didn't like something, he would change his mind several times JUST to be CONTRARY. Liem has been sent to a corner of his room for time out so many times I can't even begin to count them, he has gone without dinner several times even smacked when outrightly defiant. But I believe we have done the right thing and he's better for it. His behaviour now shows me this. He's happy because he knows his boundaries. All that hard work for more than two years since he started having tantrums was worth it in the end.